Sunday, January 29, 2006 ; 6:31 AM
yesterday
highly stressful. i am so far from my goals yet u have such high hopes, expectations. you give me chances and i never make it satisfactory even for my measely self, i can only wonder what u think of me. my mind keeps telling me to do one thing but my hands do another. i can feel your hope for me and i feel i let u down. i ain't prepared for the stress yet i will be though. i swear. i will be.i was amused by ziya's request for me to ask yj to exchange with her. seems my voice which has gotten me in to shit loads of trouble is finally going to some use. and thanks to the drain my butt has lines on it. tas and i went prata cafe after, excercised for nothing. they totally messed up our order but it was still nice.
went sentosa today so blardy hot. i am beginning to miss the rain. Singapore's weather quite screwed. either to hot. to cold. to wet. to dry. never perfect. sentosa was very populated so we didn't stay long. just looked at this dumb flower thing, drove to the beach, couldn't find a parking space so left. next door's bought this huge plate of cny goodies round and i got a angpao. Yeah. that is one more then last year.
i am super grateful to the selected few who have let me open up like i have never done before. you don't realise how special you are to me. i really appreciate the release of burden. i appreciate the tears you let me cry the words you let me say and i love the way you make it feel ok. i love you guys so darn much.
just like the hearse you die to get in again
