Did I disappoint you or let you down?Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
- good bye my lover james blunt


that song does something to me. i am telling you that verse line and the chorus. they affect me. they just do. went to watch memoirs of a geisha not as good as i was hoping but alot of sense was pushed into me during the film. the 2 hours over spent watching the big screen ensured my home work was not done. then had open house immediatly after. so am desperately trying now. and as you can see i am easily distracted.

just like the hearse you die to get in again

We must embrace pain and use it as fuel for our journey

Went bike riding. went shopping. bought nothing. there was this dilussional woman in carefour. she was like sitting on the floor by men's socks talking to herself and just staring. we came up with stories bout her. like she was this really hip druggie from vegas who got on the wrong flight while she was high. and since singapore is so clean, she was suffering from redrawal symptons. i prefer she lost/broke up etc.... with her husband so was reminicing by the men's socks. she had to be wheeled out in a wheel chair. i feel really bad for just watching but really what could i do. carefour was practically the only shop open in the whole of plaza sing. how pathetic. CAREFOUR of all the shops CAREFOUR. went to next doors after and made up for the lack of cny goodies in my diet. i had bahgua and pineapple tarts and love letters and tiramisu (which is not really chinesesy but it still taste like whoa) i can feel my fats bubbling. then went for a bbq. i played street soccer. i shall upload pics later. and i never would have thought i get my butt kicked by 6 year olds. any way...

do you know how much it hurts when you do so much, you show so much concern, you get worried sick and you come back to an ungrateful twit. and i never want to be like you. i never want to take my mistakes out on others. i hope your realised you showed me how incapable you are of controlling your mouth and body. you have no self control. you lash out at me for trying to help. i was trying to help for god's sakes. just take your drunkard self and go away. i feel scared around you. scared.

just like the hearse you die to get in again

yesterday
highly stressful. i am so far from my goals yet u have such high hopes, expectations. you give me chances and i never make it satisfactory even for my measely self, i can only wonder what u think of me. my mind keeps telling me to do one thing but my hands do another. i can feel your hope for me and i feel i let u down. i ain't prepared for the stress yet i will be though. i swear. i will be.
i was amused by ziya's request for me to ask yj to exchange with her. seems my voice which has gotten me in to shit loads of trouble is finally going to some use. and thanks to the drain my butt has lines on it. tas and i went prata cafe after, excercised for nothing. they totally messed up our order but it was still nice.

went sentosa today so blardy hot. i am beginning to miss the rain. Singapore's weather quite screwed. either to hot. to cold. to wet. to dry. never perfect. sentosa was very populated so we didn't stay long. just looked at this dumb flower thing, drove to the beach, couldn't find a parking space so left. next door's bought this huge plate of cny goodies round and i got a angpao. Yeah. that is one more then last year.
i am super grateful to the selected few who have let me open up like i have never done before. you don't realise how special you are to me. i really appreciate the release of burden. i appreciate the tears you let me cry the words you let me say and i love the way you make it feel ok. i love you guys so darn much.

just like the hearse you die to get in again

today today today :):):)

performance was very hilarious. the 9 year olds made of plastic just put on stage to make us jealous. and then frogs made to sing. had an EXPERIENCE in the hall ;) and in class. and we didn't spring clean, well actually CELESTE did but no one else . then muacks muacks muacks.
ok then went to be stepford housewifes with natasha, gretchen and tasneem and walked around cold storage pushing trolley. push push. picked up food. and cabbed to my house. then played hockey in the function room. you could tell the guard thought we were going to break something. he kept staring nervously at us. then we went swimming. tasneem + swimming pool = "maybe you could take the photograph's" and i just realised that we took over 150+ pictures. then we got a bit carried awayed. so we saved cooking to the very end and seeing as we only have one suitable pot to cook in we were like taking so long. and i think all of us should get very very high marks for home econs for learning to adapt to stressful kitchen situations(:
and for some reason ppl started coming on time which just added to the stress. and i kinda screwed chermaine. sorry for making u walk that way. but the swimming pool games where fun , and the pinkie promise is cool and i realised that there are lots of things people keep locked up deep inside the cell of the mind but once they unlock it you realise what friends are really for. and i think it just makes you realise how human you are. and it makes your bond that much tighter. it lifts a burden of your shoulder and it is like nice to know that they'll be there for you. HOCKEY PEOPLE NEED TO EAT MORE you know how much extra food there was. alot. and the very nice sec 4's did most of the cleaning upping and the packing while we ate. but we packed the chairs. all in all this was a nice start to the chinese new year. we should party more often :D

just like the hearse you die to get in again

nowadays i can just die of depression. me and nat where just screwed by the time yesterday 6o clock came. and we had nothing to show for it. i'm getting home past 8 everyday. and then there is a big pile of undone homework and a lot of tests waiting for me (thanks ah teachers we appreciate it) . then there is hockey and om and .... URGH. why are there so little hours in a day or why can't time just pause pause pause pause for ever. HI SARAH. TALK ABOUT ME. XIN SHAYN.
TALK ABT ME TOO! (: NATASHA . and this is HUIJUN :D AND, THIS IS HAZEL!BOO!((((:AND GRETCHEN!AND THIS IS CHERMAINE :D; YOUR RIGHT LURH!(:

WE LOVE SARAH, AND OF COURSE SHE LOVES US. xD
WE HAD A GREAT TIME AT THE PARTY TODAY.
REALLY GOOD TIME (:

ok so i kinda forgot to close my blogger post so it got overtaken by all the above and so it is no longer depressing and it is not longer really a post :)

just like the hearse you die to get in again

i had a very nice weekend :)

i had hockey, went sentosa beached and luged, suppose to go eat nice food but i was sleeping so they left without but they did dapao, went out for breakfast, then parents went out, i went home thanks to stupid chinese common test. people came over for dinner. so i starved and went to my room and realised that my phone was broken. told my mum and she suggested i buy messenger pigeons like hello PIGEONS! i had to resort to writing notes to lots of ppl maybe i should get a pigeon.

today was ok
home ec. made some cake that i didn't like the taste of. science blah. english blah. i want the nice miss sieow back not the miss kartinie wannabe sieow. geog lost interest half way. chinese commen test URGH. mr keong is such a push over we managed to pursuade him to let us sit at our normal places instead of according to register no. i thought the test was 1 hour but it was 50 mins. so i guess i fail. dam chinese la.
HOCKEY:)
today i collected a lot of injuries. some graduated senior hit a very nice hard ball unfortunately she wasted her beautiful pass on my ankle and now my beautiful ankle looks like ice kachang. all white and blue and red and swollen. and somehow i managed to trip so i hurt my arse and then my toes ....... and then i was ball sensitive during the game so couldn't really play. oh and if anyone has LOST A SKIRT THAT IS XL PLS GET IT FROM ME. AND IF YOU HAVE A SMALLER SKIRT PLS RETURN. i was trying all the extra skirts and they were all xl . i miss my skirt. oh and chermaine wants to go for the skip o level programm:(

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stupid fat chan. suprising he is slim enough to fit through the gates. he made me put my tablet on the teachers table and he stared at the flashing light. hope he goes blind and falls into the canal never to be seen again. crescent girls have a thing for french boys so music proves. stupid geog test. stupid ying yong wen.

went tiong after school and thus owe toopid celeste money. came back to school for house party. GO ANTS

i'm gonna eat crab later, i can feel your jealousy.

just like the hearse you die to get in again

I'm currently stressed and suffering from very serious sleep deprivition. so much so that my hair is falling out. on top of that the drama in school is beginning. and i have lots of undone stuff. i bet by the time i'm in sec 4 i'll be bold. argh.

just like the hearse you die to get in again

science today dam hilarious. but i realised i don't even noe the purpose of our experiment except that it involves beans and vigourous shaking :) celeste was quited malu ated a lot of times and i laughed until tears poured out continuosly. we were playing with test tubes and she was making fun of mr teo. ahem. and he was behind her and i tried to make her stop but i couldn't because i was laughing to hard. sorry. then when she was vigourously shaking beans he went up to her .
guy with stick in his butt : celeste
celeste:what
silence
silence
silence + my uncontrolably laughter
guy with stick in his butt: your not suppose to have coloured ear sticks right

she takes them out and puts them back when he goes and i just laugh. science is amusing as is maths. i think keong keong got problem lah. i did my formulae wrong but my working was correct but all my answers were wrong. but i still got 4 out of 6 marks. maddness. but only celeste is complaining.

had om. ok a bit long and we are a bit disfunctional. got a heart renching call half way. thanks kay for the comfort :)

just like the hearse you die to get in again

today was a happy happy day :):):)

i realised that hockers are to caught up with hockey to listen in maths, seeing as they do not no the time. meet at 6 30 they come at 6 53. meet at 6 45 meet at 7 01. ayesha is the best man, meet at 6 45 - bell ring she not there, ask her why, quote " i thought 6 45 p.m" pro man pro.

but the wait was worth it:) HAPPY not so surprise BIRTHDAY PARTY JANE NASSIMA HAZEL AND SYAFIQAH. i drew hazel's card and huijun made the other 3 ppl's card. HAZEL better sleep with the card, eat with the card, everything with the card. i put alot of effort into the removable boobs OK!

geog was very horny. (hazel's influence). celeste was making me laugh and stupid stuff was making me laugh. and petroleum is used to make lubricants. how ironic.

mr teo didn't come to class. probably getting his stick removed.

oh had common test and the fat ass made me wear back my blouse and he started before i wear back so dam unfair lor.

HOCKEY:) first break was kinda a shock. but game was good. i think i'm becoming a happier person cause i finished my bitches during the walk and during hockey nothing to bitch about. which is a good thing i guess.

then as soon as stc got on the pitch it poured. IRONIC

ok right here is your paragraph :

CHERMAINE TAN will always be my right. even when she is on my left she'll still be my right. and she is a really hyper person which goes perfect with my spasticness so we are a very noisy pair. and we both like to sing (LOUDLY) much to the dismay of the others but heck them la. and she tried wearing contacts but due to laziness she wears glasses but she looks better in glasses so she might as well be lazy. oh and her ears don't seem to get tired cause she is a serious good listener. like i can bitch and bitch and bitch and she doesn't seem to mind so that makes her very nice to vent anger :D oh and she owes me a common test card

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i can't elaborate on today for fears of ruining surprises.

CELESTE won't let me touch her drum set urgh.

that nuisance is slowly leaving my conscience. you know you have such a gd vocab but u let it waste on me cause i'm turning a deaf ear from now on. you don't realise that your tactless words get on people's nerves and i find it interesting how you fail to tell BLAH how you feel toward... ok there is more but as of this instance you are nothing to me nothing.

i really appreciate ppl that don't mind my bitches and let me talk. they just listen. and understand. and relate. but mostly listen. like you are always there for me on my rants and bitches and though i'm probably a nuisance you don't show. YOUR WHAT I GO TO SCHOOL FOR (:(:(:

oh and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZEL AWWWWWWW....

YOUR HORNYNESS IS IRONIC :)

LOTS OF LOVE 莎拉史密斯<3

just like the hearse you die to get in again

if only you realised that all words and actions hurt. really hurt.

people are all the same
we only get judged by what we do
personality reflects ME
and if i'm ugly
then so are you
so are you.

i really pity you and your inability to think for others. get a dam life .


HOCKEY:) quite ok. i have mentally prepared for the physicals that are gonna be thrown in our face as soon as b div is over.

had a nice talk with cher all through the training. i think we gossip and bitch alot. but heck she makes me smile.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZEL. care group my foot :)

i guess i was to naive to think that we would not be getting homework for a while. but darn.

somebody save me i don't care how you do it


yesterday

Poor Mr teo and his toe infection, hope it gets well soon so he stop's walking like he has something up his behind

had hockey. me and nassima were late for the walk, but we caught up by walking through mud, which did extreme damage to my MUM's shoes. and that was the start of my screwed afternoon. Cher and i sang bit's off songs and natasha and i relived the past. under the sea....
and then this very smart women came late. and wasn't a bit remorseful for affecting lots of ppl's trainings. seniors and us couldn't train easily with less than half off the balls. she probably doesn't care if we don't train until she comes. i wasted all my phone bills on her. and since when do you come for 3 30 trainings at 4 30. and fine if you have to stay back in school. but pls if u have any equiptment it is your responsibilty and don't expect to me to read ur mind. ( if i was pshyic i would be reading palms instead of doing exams) least u can do is have the decancy to inform me personally and pass me the equiptment. and i do not appreciate u blaming me as soon as your in walking distance. please la. sorry is the word. NOT " but u should have known" . and this is like the 3rd time. if u are ever near me when i have scissors in my hand buh bye pig tail.

ok then we played one of those satisfying games. one of those times when u have fun, and u feel u did good. and then after training i lost my phone. but really i lost my shoe bag and i was totally screwed. but thank god yusheng took care of it for me before my father had the chance to find out. ok and thanks for helping me find guys.

today

if you have ever had the bad luck of sitting through one of Mr Siow's lessons, you will understand my plight. he has got to be the most long winded fool i have ever met. he spends the whole lesson going through 3 slides and finishes the rest of the 7 slides after the bell has rung in record timing. and somehow he can go from talking about natural resources to water to human waste that is compacted into bricks to marina cove and the best was when we learning about interrelationships. all he needed to say was : e.g earthquakes, hurricanes . however he explained 10 different types of natural disaster, he told us about a girl called tillie, he pretended he was dorothy from the wizard of oz, he even ended up telling us his youngest son is enrolling for ns on the 20th of jan. like that has anything to do with geog. in addition his hands move alot when he talks as do other parts of his body

cca day. got new hockey shirts :) walked around and had a sticking "fight" with a I LOVE GUIDES STICKER.

oh and what is with getting us to write reflective journals for maths?

this school is so IRONIC


just like the hearse you die to get in again

when will it finally stop raining?

the stupid rain is affecting everything other than lessons. why. i miss the old kellock building, the floods the leaky roofs, even little drizzle disrupted lessons.

stupid rain

just like the hearse you die to get in again

IF ANY ONE HAS SEEN A BLUE/GREEN/WHITE ROXY WALLET THAT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU PLS RETURN TO CELESTE CHEW.
put her out of her mysery. do you realise how many people she called/smsed and she lost her wallet so how is she suppose to pay her bill???

i think the teacher that suggested the test period is so dumb that person should be fired. they do not realise how much confusion they caused, if only they knew. and what is with school ending at 3 on mondays, we end later than sec 3's even. and thus natasha, ayesha and i cabbed to hockey but we didn't realise that the sec 1's were still at the bus-stop so though we were late we were early. today's training was rather pathetic. all i did was run two rounds and less than 15 minutes of basics. then went to help with sec 1's. coach made them play something like captains ball with a hockey ball and trust them to still throw so high. they got 20 mins worth of selection but really they don't look very hockeyish i guess we didn't either. and as soon as they finished it poured and so i had to write blue forms while over the sec 1's kept coming up and asking stupid questions over the rain. like why couldn't they just remeber if i called their names, like i repeated it over and over and people still were confused. then people came and asked if we were going to send them back to school do we look like baby sitting service. and they very smartly forgot to bring their sticks home. so we were stuck with 30 odd sticks. ok enough of venting,
then a whole bunch of us had a "picnic" outside 7-eleven and we recieved alot of stares and made alot of noise but heck it was fun :)

just like the hearse you die to get in again

i hurt my toe. like the middle section of nail came out so now i only have upper nail and lower nail on my littlest toe on my left foot ):


yesterday

had hockey(:
i played defence. should have seen my face when coach told me. it just changed. i have thus concluded that i prefer to play forward and defence is just not my thing. but i guess it is not really my choice and i'm gonna have to accept change seeing as we have loads of forwards. but when you think about it we have loads of everything. depressed. but we crapped alot(:

went tiong after training(:
it was dam funny. we made a tower of fries and like it was so gianormous. we did the stupid campfire thingy. cha cha cha, wiggle wiggle wiggle. then people who thought sitting resulted in getting fat went for a walk. and me and nat stayed and played e-z link card hockey, it was really fun and i lost just because she does not know how to count scores. and the game came to an abrut hault when that women pushed the card right off the table and under some one elses chair. for like the second time. so maluating. oh wells it was worth the embarrassement. then left. i really hope they create an mrt line from redhill to orchard, so i no longer have to be the only loner taking bus. but the chances of that happening are as likely crescent changing the colour of its uniform.

just like the hearse you die to get in again

today was a super long day. spent like 13 hours in school but worth it (:
when c2 sounded ok, yee wen cabbed to my house and we became sunglasses gals (:
met teran at tanglin and we bought hair spray.
went backed to school, and i'm a very pro hair sprayer
i became a pink head
went for the campfire, the fire was so pathetic like one stupid table candle. the cheers were ok i guess c2 came in 3rd but g1 was really very pro (if natasha reads this i'll get verbal torture)

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feeling depressed. but i had a good day. nonsense.

went queensway after school . Macdonald's (: stupid fun. some idiots any how said that we were watching porn and then they still had the guts to say bye to us at the end and complained when we didn't say bye back. if only we had our hockey sticks. if only. bought shorts and shall be back one day for more. we went back to school for hockey trials. and had to drop at queenstown sec as 33 dun go to the nearer bus stop. and then we walked half way to school when sum one called and said the trials were at delta. and we went to delta. and they weren't there so hazel abadoned us, and syafiqah left with her, and xing shyan, and yeeting. so me and nadia cabbed to school and the trials weren't really worth all the walking and the 2.60 for the cab. but coach was being mean and imitating the sec 1's. so we were well amused. and then it poured.

i have no idea why i am so depressed. maybe it's from lack of sleep or lack of hockey or lack of money
but it is lack of something
just need to know what
will someone just enlighten me.

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-discipline talk - GREAT - being reminded of all the stupid rules is just the best day to start the day. and why did they forget to but air-con on the balcony?
-today's P.E was superdooper fun. We ... drumroll... picked weeds! GREAT! THANKS MR SAMAT(: what type of wierd person considers plucking weeds a form of physical excercise?
-Mr Keong is obssesed with the word "serious" i'm serious about this, very serious"
-1c2 is not that great or enthu or anything, and miss chan has become nice since she stopped teaching us. like why suddenly so nice, must have found a boyfriend, i mean elf. no but seriously i've never seen her so dam nice.
-dinner with Will. and ppl. he is so dam tall. if he grows 2.5 inches he is officially a giant and he gets grants from the brit goverment and stuff. cause you can't really buy size 16 shoes in your local shoe shop.
- oh and CELESTE CHEW is a plan breaker

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so first day of school
was quite ok

i have already lost my timetable so i'm kinda screwed

i owe ppl stuff but i can't remeber what.
i need to bring some stuff but i can't remeber what.
screwed screwed screwed

oh and we lost the c2 heirloom cardboard so no more tradition then.

i'm suffering from sleep deprivation.

screwed screwed screwed screwed screwed screwed

just like the hearse you die to get in again

I've got to get stuff ready for tomorrow. lots of stuff. i haven't burned cd's for someone. let's hope she forgot. i am only going back to school to see my friends. it will feel so wierd to walk into the yellow and blue world that i have so long forgotten. i have a feeling all my teachers are gonna be crap and i am not looking forward to waking up early. and i am not happy about remaining in the g block. why is the school so unfair making us study in such an ulu-ated place. maybe i shall organized a protest with lots of nice people. but we will probably get expelled and that is not the best way to start the year. so i shall continue my vent of frustration and hope that MR GARY TAN, who claims that he always reads blogs, reads my blog and realises that the school's decission to put sec 1's in the echo block was stupid plain stupid.




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Yhope. Hockey. People.


January 2006 February 2006 August 2006 September 2006


i'll link if you ask but in the mean time see the little cross in the red box, at the top right?



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